Do You Have a Porn Addiction?

For some men this might be a confronting question, but for someone who knows they have a porn addiction, it is possibly one of the most confronting questions they could encounter. Once we have explored more about porn addictions the reasons for this may become clearer.

So, do you have an addiction to porn?

Firstly, let’s understand what we are talking about. The term ‘porn’ itself probably doesn’t need much clarification. However, the term ‘addiction’ is something that is often used very freely in our society to define a broad range of behaviours.

There are an infinite number of different ways that addiction has been defined, but one of the most generic and simplest is Wikipedia’s definition of it as “a continued involvement with a substance or activity despite the negative consequences associated with it”.

From this definition it is clear that the term ‘addiction’ could be applied to any number of different challenges. Alcohol and drug addictions are commonly understood issues in our society. Other addictions that counsellors might regularly encounter include sex addictions, gaming addictions, TV addictions, etc. There is a debate within the helping professional about whether porn addictions actually exist, and whether they should be classed in the same was as other ‘addictions’.

So while someone may be addicted to something like porn or gaming, it does not suggest that the behaviour or the activity itself is problematic or an ‘issue’. Issues and problems relating to addiction generally only apply when the behaviour is ongoing and continues, despite impacting negatively on other areas of one’s life or the life of those around you.

Porn itself often carries a negative stigma. This may originate from a family or religious value system. As a result, some people may find that they have a number of responses or reactions to their behaviour, either during or after having viewed pornography. For someone who has been raised with values that suggests porn is ‘wrong’, there can be a sense of guilt or shame. Other elements of self-judgement can arise too, such as thinking that one may be a ‘bad person’ or ‘feeling worthy-less’ or worthless. For many men accessing porn may be something that they do in secret, either a secret that they keep alone, or possibly one that is shared with a close friend or partner.

So what is the difference between simply watching porn and being addicted to porn?

Perhaps you can ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you access porn on a regular basis? Perhaps more than once per week?

2. Do you notice any anxiety within yourself if you aren’t able to access porn as often as you’d like?

3. Are parts of your life being negatively impacted because you are accessing porn?

4. Are any of the relationships in your life being affected?

5. Do you often intend to do some other activity and then somehow find yourself accessing porn instead?

6. Are you regularly getting less sleep than you should because of porn?

7. When you access porn do you often find yourself spending far more time than you had intended?

8. Have you increased your broadband plan to accommodate your porn needs?

9. Do you often tell yourself you’re going to stop or you’re going to limit the amount of porn you access, but then it doesn’t actually happen?

I’m not going to tell you that because you’ve answered these questions with a ‘yes’ that you definitely have a porn addiction. To do so would simply add to the ‘judgements’ that you’ve possibly already heaped on yourself. However, if some of these questions do apply to you, then perhaps there is something there for you to explore.

Often someone with an addiction will focus all of their efforts on trying to stop the addiction. They will set themselves goals, such as “I’m not going to do it for 7 days”. Sometimes there is even a reward at the end: “if I abstain for 2 weeks I’ll reward myself with a…”. They will often question why they do it, and what it’s caused by. The addiction, and stopping it, can be something that begins to consume their life and their thoughts, and can have a significant impact on how they feel.

From my experience in working with clients, persistent behaviours such as porn addictions, often suggest an absence of something else in their life. While it is important not to completely ignore the addictive behaviour, often the journey towards a better balance in life is through actually focussing on other aspects of one’s life, such as relationships, family of origin issues, and other feelings deep within that are desperate to be explored and heard.

Addictive behaviours are sometimes a way for men to cover up, or hide away, something else in their lives that they don’t feel they are ready to deal with. For some men, they may not be aware of what these other issues are, or even that they exist.

Porn addictions can occur in cycles. There can be a time where one accesses porn very often, almost not being able to stop. And, then there are other times when the feeling is not as strong, or life is interesting and busy enough that one doesn’t even think of porn, or perhaps because there isn’t an opportunity. Because of the cycle of addition men may sometimes commit to seeking help for their addiction, but then when they are feeling less addicted, or less attracted to the porn, they tell themselves they are on the right track and don’t follow through. And then the cycle begins again.

My professional experience and training suggests to me that it is extremely hard for someone to find a ‘solution’ to their addiction, or to let go of their addiction, on their own. Most often it is necessary to engage some help. Because of the nature of porn addictions it can be really hard for many men to seek help from those close to them. They may not want anyone else to know.

By seeking help from a professional who has the experience to help you and is also bound by a confidentiality framework, it is possible to find a way forward in a safe and supportive way. It is important to realise that the journey to healing addictions has many ‘ups and downs’. Having a professional who is able to expertly guide you and remain a constant for you during this journey, is invaluable.

So, whether you have a porn addiction or not, if you feel that porn is an issue in your life, try to seek some support and help from a qualified professional.

It’s good to talk.

Footnote:

While I don’t want to suggest that porn is either good or bad, the porn industry does have a reputation (which may or may not be valid) of sometimes exploiting individuals. A concern that is often expressed about porn is that it treats men and women as objects. By accessing porn in which anyone has been exploited we can become de facto supporters of that exploitation ourselves. However, for the purposes of this article, I am assuming that we are referring to porn where all the participants are informed consenting adults.

Disclaimer: This article is meant to provide men with general information about porn and porn addictions. This article should not be interpreted as a recommendation for a specific treatment plan or course of action. Before making any decisions about your health, you should consult a qualified health professional such as a counsellor, therapist or doctor.

Importance of Brain Games for Adults

Thinking games are very good for sharpening your memory. These memory games are not only useful for the youngsters and kids but for the adults and the old people as well. These days when life is so busy and stressful, memory loss is a major problem which is common amongst the adults. Many adults are very concerned about their memory development and enhancement and that’s why they are making use of these brain games. These games help us put our brains to test and keep it active and alert. The serious mental disorder like Alzheimer, which is quite common in adults, is also prevented with these brain games. These memory games for adults can stimulate the process of thinking and prevent memory problems.

Brain games for adults are designed in such a way that they will test your memory and knowledge by fielding questions on different topics. There are various topics discussed in these games like politics, sports, general knowledge, current affairs, fashion, business, marketing etc. You can make the choice according to your interests. With these brain exercises our mind becomes very dynamic. Another advantage of these thinking games for adults is that they are played in groups which help in strengthening the family ties. The whole family can get engaged in the activities and can have fun together. If you are planning a family reunion, stock these brain games now!

Brain is a very important part of human body and the basic fact about this is that it does not develop with time rather goes on declining, if we do not make use of it consistently. Yes, if you are not using your mind then you will notice memory loss problem. So, if you want to have a strong memory and a healthy happy life, start using these brain games. There are many brain games for adults online which you can purchase and play for your own benefit. Some of the most popular games are Monster garden and word bubbles. You can even play cross word games and Sudoku and can increase your memory strength.

6 Tips for Packing When Moving Your House

When it comes to moving a house, we suggest that you follow some common but important packaging tips. In other words, if you follow these common hacks, you can save a great deal of time money, and energy. Without further ado, let’s take a look at some tips that can help you pack your desired items before they are loaded onto the truck. Read on to know more.

Labe the Items

This is an essential part of the moving process. It is not enough to place general labels on the boxes. What you need to do is label all of the moving boxes based on the content they contain. The label should clearly state what each box contains.

This is important when you are opening up the boxes and taking out all of the items one by one. Besides, it is a great way of keeping a record of all of the items, which will help you save a lot of time and energy.

Pack the Essentials

If some things are required immediately after all of the boxes are unloaded from the truck, make sure you put these items in special boxes. Some good examples of these items include your toothbrush and mobile phone chargers. Generally, this box should contain items that you use on a regular basis.

Pack your Important Items

When it comes to moving a house, make sure you place all of your important documents in the same box. Some examples of these documents include birth and marriage certificates. Make sure that all of these documents are safe and secure.

It is also a great idea to put all your personal documents such as passwords in your personal bag. After all, losing your passport can get you in trouble and make you suffer a lot of headaches.

Packing Heavy Items

As far as packing heavy items is concerned, you have to be much more careful. After all, you don’t want to end up dropping and damaging these items. Besides, carrying heavy items requires that you maintain your balance.

It is better that you hire the services of professional movers if you don’t want to end up damaging heavy items. Also, it is a good idea to place heavy items below all of the other items you have already packed. Also, you may not want to paste labels on all of the boxes that contain heavy and fragile items.

Packaging Fragile Items

As far as packing fragile items is concerned, make sure you be extra careful. It is a great idea to use bubble wraps for packing all of your fragile and expensive items. Once you have packed all of the items, you can stack them vertically to prevent breakage.

Packaging Toiletries

As far as packing cosmetics is concerned, you may want to use a hard cosmetic case. Apart from this, make sure you separate these things with great care. In other words, you need to separate creams and dry items.